five thousand dollars

by five thousand dollars

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i have a sincere and undying love for quality products, services,(fictional or otherwise), and the jingles and commercials that are used to help bring them to everyone's attention.


released March 6, 2016

joe reyes
sometimes some other people



all rights reserved


Level Records Los Angeles, California

my life long passion and devotion to music has brought me so much joy and it is my dream, hope, and pleasure to return the favor.

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Track Name: lumber organization team
lumber organization team
let's go
you've got disorganized lumber
come on
admit it
it's true
like a nightmare
when you slumber
but here's what we're gonna do
we're gonna organize that lumber
until your face explodes
then tonight
when you slumber
satisfaction overload
lumber organization team
let's go
Track Name: sassy miss (make-up for very young girls)
hey girls
wanna look sexy?
let's put on some make-up!
lip stick
eye shadow
liner, and rouge

watch out boys
it's boner time!!

girls with make-up
girls with make-up

glamorous and confident

girls with make-up
girls with make-up

you're not too young
you're a girl with make-up

what are your parents
gonna think about that?
Track Name: jerk jerky
drivin' a truck is a lonely life
busy makin' a buck
ain't got no time for a wife
but when hunger stirs, and you can't have a steak
when your vision blurs, you gotta stay awake
jerk jerky
jerk jerky
it's jerky in the shape of a girl
so just unzip your pants and give it a whirl
jerk jerky
jerk jerky
it's time to let your freak flag unfurl
let's give our little friend a necklace of pearls
it's not for them
they wouldn't understand
it's only for a guy that wants some meat in his hand
jerk jerky
jerk jerky
she's headless so there won't be no sass
just a beefy pair of tits and an ass
jerk jerky
jerk jerky
feminism never tasted so good
jerk jerky
jerk jerky
if mother nature says to do it, you should
Track Name: dr. pepper
i really don't like dr. pepper
just kidding
i really do

...but my original statement
was more effective
at getting your attention
cuz everybody in texas
really loves dr.pepper
unless they like coke
Track Name: smooth ranch
smooth and delicious
it's suspiciously good

smooth ranch

this shit's so good
you'll forget your fucking name

smooth ranch
smooth ranch
Track Name: lil' kitty cat chow
who's got food in their bellies?
who's happy to be alive?
it's you
it's you
it's you lil' kitty
why can't you see it's you?
Track Name: juicaye bootaye
juicaye bootaye
comin' your way
comin' your way
juicaye bootaye

juicaye bootaye
comin' your way
comin' your way
juicaye bootaye
Track Name: wylde fire hot sauce
polices change, and leaders rearrange
but we'll always need a way to get rocks off
try this sauce from a cool chef and a hot jock
it's sure to promptly knock all your socks off
i guarantee this sauce will not make your cock soft
wylde fire hot sauce
remember the name
wylde fire hot
cause bland food is lame
wylde fire hot sauce
this shit's off the chain
it gets
Track Name: demolisten theme (old school jam)
are you ready to partaye
with fred and sean?
if you're feeling kind of naughtaye
you won't have to wait too long.

playin' all kindsa demos
from far and wide
from six to eight pm
on every friday night

just mail in a cd
to one lmu drive
los angeles california

it's kxlu
88.9 fm
and i shouldn't have to tell you
if you been demolistenin'
Track Name: demo listen theme (indie rock)
demo listen
Track Name: demo listen them (metal)
Track Name: demon dishwashing detergent (scrub like a demon)
a baby cries in the dead of night
with a belly that's not quite full

his mother frowns without a crumb in sight
that's not exceptable

you grew up hard
and you grew up fast
you had to prove yourself
on the streets

now you've got a child of your own
slip resistant shoes on your feet

scrub like a demon
cast into hell
you are here forever
you cannot break the spell

they don't know what you can do
you're not the average demon child
you're going to scrub and scrub
until your face turns blue
the sparkle will drive them wild

scrub for your salvation
it's your only chance
the music is so deafening
you cannot help but dance

replenish the oils you have taken from me
turned my hands into claws
the water, the friction
the heat of the steam
it tortures me because

i must scrub like a demon
you dare not complain
like your father before you
you cannot break the chains

scrub like a demon
thrown into hell
like your father before you
you cannot break the spell


scrub like a demon
thrown into hell
you are here forever
because you dare not
and you will not
and you know you dare not
break the spell